Diary Of A Mad Black President: Friday July 22nd, 2016

****THIS IS A SATIRE****

Dear Diary,

Whaddup players! This week has been unbearable. It’s the one week out of the year that I can’t stand. All those dumb Republican’s are getting all cocky and confident because this week is the Republican National Convention. Gross. Who would ever want to go to that? It’s like a bunch of drunk rednecks on a pontoon boat in the middle of some lake, all talking about how great T-Rump is. That’s sounds like my living hell, and not just because I’m half black.

So yeah, Trump accepted the Republican nomination, who cares. Been there done that buddy. Besides, my acceptance at the Democratic National Convention way back in…when was it? 2007? 2008? One of those…My speech was ten times better than that orange skinned reality star. Then, his wife…who I have to admit is fine, I mean Melania Trump is a hottie with a naughty body if you know what I mean. But she steals my wife’s speech? What? Then they do that whole publicity stunt of “oh poor us our house writer wrote the speech, we didn’t know,” boo-hoo.

I just can’t wait to see Trump’s face when he loses the presidential to a girl. How amazing will it be to be known as the only man who lost to a women in the presidential election? Known as the only man in history who couldn’t beat a girl in a popularity contest. That’s harsh, and to lose to the Hill? That’s even worse! I’ve paid for her whole campaign, I bought all her supporters and pulled tons of strings to get her where she is. 

Between you and me, I didn’t do it for Hill… I mean she’s great, we’re homies, but I did it to see Trump’s face when he loses. He’s gonna be crying like a little baby with a bad combover. 

Anyway, I gotta go, I have to make some calls… let’s just say I have some surprises for the Republican party that I have to check on.

Later skaters!

Your Boy B!

Keep up with all the ramblings from Obama’s Diary in our series that we run (just for fun). Check out the most recent updates:

Friday, July 15th

Friday, July 8th